Namesake
by The Writing Princess
Summary: It's been approximately 13 years since Elliot left the SVU. Since then, Olivia has a son, whom she names Elliot. Several times, Elliot Haden has asked Liv where his name came from... but she doesnt think he'd ever understand.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The idea for this kind of just popped into my head, so I made something out of it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: SVU.**

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><p>The smell of the spaghetti sauce cooking in the pot to the right of me is delightful. I'd been quite surprised with myself the first time I'd cooked something edible. I'd had Alex over for dinner. I had cooked breaded chicken and she went wild for it. I asked her, "Since when am I a good cook?" and she was just as surprised as me. I raise a single spaghetti noodle out of the boiling water with the wooden spoon and place it in my mouth, testing if it was soft enough to eat, which it is. I stop stirring the spaghetti and turn off the stove completely. I take the noodle pot to the waiting colander in the sink. As I dump the contents of the pot into the colander, I feel a pair of strong hands on either sides of my waist. I crane my neck back to see my husband, David Haden, and his waiting lips. I set the now empty pot on the counter and turn around to kiss him. He has to lean into me a little, because he's a few inches taller than me.<p>

"Is dinner ready?" he asks, pulling our lips apart.

"I was just about to call everyone to the table now," I tell him, matter-of-factly. I pick up the colander and rerun the spaghetti to it the original pot it used to boil it. "Calvin, Elliot, Sammy, and Jess! Dinner!" I call, summoning our four kids to the table. Calvin comes down first, carrying his iPhone, which stays with him always.

If you're wondering, my Calvin is Calvin Arliss, or now, Calvin Haden. But, my point is that he's the small boy who was ripped from my grasp right before Elliot had left SVU. It wasn't long before Child Protective Services had placed him back in my care, as Vivian had instructed them to do. He is the 2nd oldest, at 16, and he's been back with me for 6 and a half years.

The girls, Jessica and Samantha, come down after their brother. Jessica, or Jess, as she prefers, is the oldest of the family, aged 17. She has her nose buried in another book; typical of her. From what I can see, she's reading something from The Hunger Games series.

Samantha is close behind Calvin, aged 15 and a half. She prefers Sammy, to her father's slight disapproval, because he was the one who had named her. She is humming as she sits down at the table. I know the song to be "What Makes You Beautiful", by One Direction.

The girls aren't mine, but I treat them as if they are. They are David's daughters from his previous marriage. We have them this week, though.

I sigh, still waiting for my youngest to join us. "Elliot Jason!" I call again, hoping he'll actually listen this time.

"Mom, I'm coming! Relax!" he says as he casually saunters into the kitchen. He's my baby, but growing up fast. To my disbelief, he's already 12 years old. He's really interested in doing what I do: He wants to be a Special Victims Unit Detective. I'm so proud to hear that, but it just makes everything so much harder. Choosing not to think about this right now, I look over at the girls and notice the annoyance growing on Jess's face, caused by her sister's humming while she's trying to read.

"Sammy, can you knock that off, please?" Jess snaps at Sammy.

Sammy seems to ponder for a moment, building up an answer. "No," she answers briefly, and continues on to hum the chorus of the song. Elliot takes his seat, and so does David. By now, I've transferred the pasta to a large bowl, added a few dabs of sauce in, and mixed it. I bring it to the center of our table, which seats all of us: a maximum of six. David and I sit across from each other, at either short side of the table. Calvin and Elliot sit on the right side of the table, Calvin on the left and Elliot on the right, their backs to the French doors, leading to the deck. The girls, obviously, sit on the left side, Jess on the left and Sammy on the right, their backs to the wall.

"Calvin, Jessica, put your stuff down for dinner please," David orders. Reluctantly, Calvin clicks the top button on his phone, blackening the screen, and sets it on the table. Everyone gets their turn to fill their plates, starting with Calvin, then Elliot, then Jessica, then Sammy, then me, and lastly, David.

"How was everyone's day?" I ask, engaging the family in a typical dinner conversation.

"Good," Elliot replied.

"Fine," David replied.

"Okay," Jessica replied.

"Awesome!" Calvin exclaimed.

"And why is that, sweetie?" I ask, delving deeper into his reply.

"I kissed Jeanette today," he says proudly, referring to his girlfriend

"Oh my God!" Jess and Sammy squeal.

"Oh, honey, that's great!" I congratulate.

"That's my boy," David chuckles.

"Alright, bro!" Elliot congratulates, giving him a fist bump.

"Sammy, how was your day?" I ask.

"Cool. We did this thing in English class today, we looked up what our name means," she says. My breath gets caught in my throat, and I'm not anticipating the coming conversation.

"Did you use Sammy or Samantha?" David asks.

"Sammy. It means 'God Heard'. It's confusing but kind of cool."

"Really cool!

'Aw crap' I think, still dreading the impending discussion.

"Mom," Elliot says to me. "How did I get my name?"

I feel so bad, but... he just wouldn't understand his namesake. I share a look with David, and being married for 11 years can teach a man to read his wife's facial expression. I feel a wave of panic. Just then, my iPhone begins to ring.

Never have I been so thankful to Cragen in my entire life. He may be in his 70s, and he doesn't go out on cases much anymore, but he's still a great captain.

"Benson," I answer. Cragen tells me that our latest perp, Orlando Leighton had a gun to Amaro's head and I needed to get down there to help him and Rollins.

I sigh and accept, because I have to. "Guys, I have to go help Uncle Nick and Aunt Amanda. "

"Mom! Mom! Can I come? Please?" Elliot begs me. I hate to see him beg, but I can't take him for two reasons: I'm not allowed, and it's too dangerous.

"Sorry, buddy... I'm not allowed."

"I get it," he frowns. I ruffle his hair and kiss the top of his head. Then, I kiss Calvin's head. I blow kisses to each of the girls, and plant a big fat kiss on David's lips.

"Love you, guys," I call behind me, grabbing my jacket, gun and badge, placing it in the holster on my belt, which I still had yet to take off, but never did. I put my badge chain around my neck and jump in my car. As I drive to the scene of the issue, I reflect on my pathetic reasons not to tell my son why we named him Elliot. I'm a grown-up... I'm 54. I haven't seen or heard from _Elliot Stabler_ since he left. I feel so disgusted with myself that I had to name my son the exact name as Elliot just to feel close to him. I just miss him every day, more and more. If course the girls and Calvin caught on about where his name came from, but I'd sworn the girls to secrecy the day he was born and swore Calvin to secrecy the day he came back into our lives. David, however, wasn't exactly thrilled with my choice of name, but understood that Elliot and I had never had closure, and supported me.

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><p><strong>AN: Love it? Like it? Hate it? Should I keep it? Scrap it? Add to it?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm really happy with all the positive feedback I received from all of you! They make me smile! Thank you! I really didn't know how this was going to turn out.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: SVU**

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><p>The hostage situation was long and terrible. Amaro ended up fine, but the perp shot himself <em>and<em> the victim, so, now we have no case. I didn't make it home until 4:45 in the morning. I tiptoe into the house, and, in an attempt not to wake anyone, I trudge to the couch and try to sleep. It feels so good to finally be home. No shoes, jacket, or police accessories. It's a little hard to settle my mind, because I'm thinking about Amaro, Elliot, and my Elliot. Nick was traumatized watching that girl get shot by her kidnapper. He's seen shootings before. Hell, he's even killed before. But his girl was so close to Zara's age, and he was standing 5 feet away from her and couldn't do a thing. He was being held hostage. We got him out of there after about 8 hours... an entire sleepless night. We've stayed up all night before but the other times, we had coffee. We weren't allowed to leave for coffee this time. I'm so tired. Amanda didn't even look like she was lucid enough to drive home. Nick... well... he was just a wreck. Cragen gave us all the day off, but I still may go in if Munch and Fin get something that they need help with.

I still can't close my eyes because now I'm thinking of Elliot. I mean, it's been _13 years_. He's gone, I know. It's not like I'm still hung up on the fact he'll come back. I've moved on and I have a family. But, why can't I tell my Elliot the origin of his name? Because my explanation would probably sound something like this: _"Oh, you were named after your uncle Elliot, who you don't know. Um, you don't know him because he shot a teenage girl and killed her and, um, practically dropped off the face of the Earth."_

That sounds pathetic, ridiculous, unrealistic, and just plain stupid. But come on, what _would_ I tell him?

I haven't slept since I walked in the door. I'm thinking too much. It's happened before. Suddenly, the sound of footsteps brings me out of thought. I sit up and look towards the kitchen. David's up now, and he's making coffee. After going an entire 8 hours without it, it smells pretty damn inviting. I stand up, causing the floor to creek.

"Oh, hey hon," David says, turning towards me. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, no. You didn't," I assure him, folding my arms across my chest and walking towards him.

"You want a cup?" he asks. I smirk and raise an eyebrow.

"Are you for real? Of course. I haven't had coffee since," I pause to think. "Yesterday, before I left work," I continue. He stifles a chuckle and takes another mug from the cabinet overhead.

"So, how did everything go?" he asks, pouring two mugs of coffee.

I gently reach out to take my mug, and take a slow first sip. "It was okay... except the turnout includes no case and a traumatized officer."

"Oh," he sighs.

"Cragen gave me, Amaro, and Amanda the day off. But, who knows _what the hell_ Munch and Fin will get themselves into when they're alone?"

"I can't believe Cragen, well into his 70s, is the captain. Isn't he too old now? I mean, what can he do?"

"David," I sigh, looking away. "I don't appreciate you insulting my captain like that."

"Sorry, babe."

"No, it's fine. I just can't stand when someone makes a comment about him. He's been like a father to me for 20-something years, David... The only one I've ever—_and will ever_—know." he places his hand on my upper back and rubs in small circles. I moan with pleasure, as he satisfies my desperate need of a back rub. With his free hand, which is wearing his watch, he checks the time.

"It's 6:30. We have to wake the monsters in about half-an-hour," he laughs a bit. I roll my eyes. I hear my phone begin to ring and pull away from him.

"Benson," I answer. It's Munch. _This can't be good_, I think as he begins to speak. "You, _what_?" I ask. "_My God_, John! I can't leave you alone for a _day_! You're like a 9 year old!" I hang up.

"What did Munch do?"

"He picked up evidence without a glove," I sigh.

"Oh, crap."

"I know. I gotta get down there," I tell him. I transfer my coffee to a to-go cup and speak again, "I might be back before the kids leave, but of I'm not, tell them I love them." I kiss him, go to the door, and grab my things off the table by the door. "Love you," I call over my shoulder, hurrying out of the house.

XX

I ended up working the day today. I went into CSU to see what evidence John contaminated, but luckily we were still able to get prints off of it that weren't John's. Then, Cragen sent Fin and I to get the person whose prints we found, and kept Munch back on desk work. He'd already caused enough trouble. By the time I get home, it's 4:30 pm. I walk into the kitchen to see Calvin at the table using his laptop.

"Hey, Cal," I greet, entering the kitchen.

"Hey, mom," he greets back, not looking up from his computer screen. I get an apple from the fridge and sit across from him at the table. "Elliot... is really upset," he notifies me, slightly hesitating.

"Why?"

"He's obsessing over his name. He's convinced you're hiding something from him. Mom, you have to tell him about Uncle Elliot." He gives me a serious look. I'm not going to lie; Elliot is a very smart boy. He pays close attention to details and he can tell when someone is hiding something. He's catching on.

"Calvin, I have a good reason—"

"No. I don't want to hear that again. It's all because you can't face the fact your best friend left. It isn't your fault. Uncle Elliot left on his own. Really, Mom."

I sigh. He's totally right. I can't face it. I can't and it's pathetic. I realize I'm only keeping this from him to shield myself. Fin and Munch were next to disgusted with me when I named him. It's getting old now. I know I can't keep doing this to him. And now he's obsessing over it. What am I going to do?

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you guys like this chapter, because I'm not as pleased with it as I should be...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: HOLY SVU! I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I'd planned out the entire story on paper, lost the paper, found it, had to start this chapter over 4 times, and had major writer's block. I promise I will update faster, people. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me. Enjoy! **

**Okay one last thing. READ THIS PLEASE! So, remember in chapter 1 when I said David and Liv were married for 11 years? I redid some math and figured out they could've only been married for at least 7 years.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING AFFILIATED WITH LAW AND ORDER: SVU. THANK YOU AND ENJOY THE STORY.**

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><p>My palm slams into the center of my steering wheel, sounding the horn. The car in front of me is doing 25 miles per hour, when the speed limit is 55. Normally, this wouldn't bother me too much, but today was supposed to be my day off. Instead of leisurely awakening to the sun streaming through my translucent curtains, like I'd planned, I woke up to Fin calling my cell phone for the 5th time this morning. He'd better have a good reason, or I'll kick his ass.<p>

I arrive at the 1-6 after going around the turtle in the car in front of me. I park my car and get out, heading into the precinct for an unanticipated day of stress and work. Upon entering the bullpen, I'm greeted with a frazzled-looking Odafin Tutuola, running my way, almost tripping over me.

"Fin?" I question tentatively, waiting for him to catch his breath and give me his explanation for dragging me in on my day off.

He swallows uneasily, takes a breath in, and aims his dark orbs directly at mine. Only then could I see the worry and confusion pouring heavily from his soul. "It's Lizzie... she's missing."

'_Lizzie?_' comes the screaming thought inside my brain, rattling off the walls of my head, sending my cranium into a spiraling black hole that I've come to label_ a headache_. "Lizzie? As in Stabler? What is she now, 16? 17? What happened? Who called it in?" I ramble, the same feeling I'd seen in Fin's eyes envelopes me as I desperately try to halt the spinning in my head and catch my breath.

"Yeah, Lizzie Stabler. She's 17 now, she disappeared right here in Manhattan, and... um..." he trails off, the end of his sentence creating a foggy cloud of uneasiness over the two of us.

"Who the hell called it in?" I demand, knowing that's what he's holding back.

"Elliot," is all he says. I now wish I was dead

"Fin, I-I-I gotta go. I mean, call me if there's a break on the case, but, right now? I just—I really gotta..." I trail off as I wobble toward the door.

"Liv, there's something else you should—"

"Wait." I know that voice. It's _his_ voice. _'Oh shit!'_ I freeze. Afraid to turn around, I clench my eyes shut and replay that one word over and over in my head, trying to believe that it's someone else. "Liv, please," he pleads, begging me to turn around. Instead, I run. I run out the door, into the parking lot, and jump in my car. I slam the door closed and take some deep breaths, feeling the hot stream of tears trailing down my fire-engine-red cheeks. Nothing seems to soothe my raging mind. The world around me is silent, but my thoughts are screaming.

'_It wasn't him,' _I tell myself. '_It couldn't have been. Well, yes it could have, because his daughter is missing in Manhattan. Who am I kidding? Of course it was him! I'm insane!' _I ramble in my head. My thoughts go as silent as a desert when my ears catch the sound of a finger tapping my passenger window. I glance up, eyes red and puffy, to see Elliot. Elliot Stabler. I am now dead... _metaphorically_, of course.

"_Let me in," _he says, his voice muffled by the window in between us. I can see rain droplets on the window and I realized it had begun raining through my whole mental breakdown. I click the unlock button so he can get in.

He gets in and shuts the door. Silence is the first thing that falls over us. We share a few uneasy glances as he clears his throat and itches his nose.

Breaking the silence, I blurt out the first thing that floats to the top of my head. "How dare you?"

"Listen—" he begins, but my mouth has more to share with him.

"No. It's too late to explain now. You should've explained 9 years ago when you left. You could've—no, wait—you _should've _came to me, but 'Stubborn-Ass-Stabler' had to go off and do what _he wanted_,obviously not caring about whether or not he hurt anyone who knew him well enough to give a damn!" And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my "Bad-ass-Benson" reflex getting the closure I needed with my former partner, who I thought would never walk out of my life. I never laid eyes on him through that whole monologue, but now I feel I need to, just to be sure I didn't kill him with my sudden mean spirit. Nope, looks fine to me. Silence sets back in, and I realize he hasn't said much. Minutes go by, but the silence elongates them into an eternity.

"Look." His voice shatters the silence. "I'm not gonna ask you to forgive me, because I know I hurt you more than anything, but Lizzie never did anything to you. We actually grew apart after I split the 1-6. I'm not gonna ask you to forgive me, but I _sure as hell am_ gonna ask you to help my little girl."

"You know I will," I promise. My lips highlight my tired face with a weak smile.

XX

"So, El," I say, feeling the all-too-familiar, yet uncomfortably foreign name roll off my tongue for the first time in 9 years. I plop my tired self down in the fluffy wonder-filled couch up in the lounge. "When did you last see Lizzie?"

The lounge falls silent. All this quiet today made every moment feel 10 times more awkward then they really were. "At my apartment in Manhattan on 54th and Lexington..." he trails off as he looks at the ground to the right of his seat on the armchair across from me. A deep breath prompts the rest of his reply. "Two days ago."

I chuckle half-heartedly and smile the biggest I have all day. "You moved to Manhattan and you didn't contact me?"

He gives a lame shrug and sniffles, fixing his gaze on the wall I'm facing. I can tell he lets a tear slip down his cheek because he brushes his right cheek with his thumb and then turns back to me.

Once again, our old friend, Silence, returns, eating away at my soul.

"So, how've you been?" I ask stupidly, adding a layer of awkward to this moment.

"Liv," he begins, silent laughter racking his body. I cringe as he utters my nickname, seeing as he's really the one who started it. "Really?" he says, letting his laughter die down like an abandoned bonfire in the dead of night. "We haven't seen each other in almost 10 years and the best you could do is 'How've you been?'?"

"No, I really want to know," I tell him.

"Well, Kathy and I had another kid," he tells me, I open my mouth to congratulate him and ask about the 6th Stabler child when he interrupts me with, "then Kathy and I divorced."

I reply with a soft "Oh."

"Yeah, but I guess it was for the best... I mean, it was mutual... it was over for a while, and we both finally came to terms with it."

"So, tell me about number 6?"

"Her name is Addison Grayce Stabler. Right now she's 5 and doesn't really understand why Lizzie hasn't come home. Since Mo, Kathleen, and the twins were over 18 when we were divorced, they spent equal time with both of us, until Kathy and her new boyfriend moved to Ireland." I stop him and interject.

"Wait, wait; Kathy lives in Ireland?"

"Yeah. Gave me complete custody of the kids. Lizzie's school is right by my place so she lives with me. Addie and Eli also live with me, because Kathy didn't want the extra baggage."

"Harsh."

"Right?"

"How are Mo and Kathleen?"

"Mo is a mother."

"Get the hell out." I say, not believing the word just spewed from his mouth.

"No, it's true!" Elliot insists, chuckling at my shell-shocked reaction. "Maureen Anne Stabler is a mother of twin boys, 2 months old."

"Holy crap! Names, names!" I exclaim, shaking his shoulder, his laughter continuing throughout the whole time.

"Joseph Richard and Caleb Elliot. I have pictures... Wanna see?"

"Are you kidding?" I ask as he takes out his wallet and opens to the pictures of the boys. "They are _stunning_, El!" I gush.

"I know," he beams, his eyes glued to the image of his grandsons.

"How about Katie?" I ask.

"Engaged." He announces.

"Ooh!" I squeal with excitement. "When's the big day?"

"In two weeks. I know what it's like to investigate a disappearance, but—"

I stop him, knowing what he'll say next. "We'll try as hard as we can to get Lizzie home for the wedding." I grasp his hand and smile at him, tears forming in my dark brown eyes. His head is bowed and no eye contact is being shared. "El," I choke out, causing him to look up at me. A stray tear roams down his cheek, triggering me to lose a few as well. "Welcome home."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I think you'll all agree with me when I say this update was way faster than the last. I hope you enjoy!**

**Listen, I know most of you are confused with all this reconfiguring I'm doing with the timeline of this story, so I'm gonna apologize in advance, because I need to fix it again. I **_**TOTALLY**_** forgot it was 13 years since El bailed, so all the original math is correct. So,**

**Elliot Haden (son of **_**Liv and David**_**) is 12 years old**

**Liv and David have been married for 11 years, not 7.**

**Elliot Stabler has been gone for 13 years.**

**Elliot Stabler and Liv are somewhere around 52 years old.**

**I really hope you all aren't too confused by this, and I will say it one more time, just to clarify: **_**this is the final and correct math for this story.**_** I apologize again for the confusion, and I couldn't feel worse about doing this to all of you out there. I'm sorry.**

**I also wanted to thank everyone so very much for the amazing reviews and putting the story and me on their alert and favorites list. They warmed my heart and inspired me to update faster.**

**Anything in italics is a flashback, except for the very last line of this chapter.**

**Also sorry for the extremely lengthy author's note.**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN: Olivia Benson-Haden, David Haden, Calvin Arliss, Elliot Stabler, the Stabler children, Kathy (used-to-be) Stabler, or anyone from the SVU.**

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><p>"Listen, Liv, I just wanna warn you. Elliot's coming in again today. He's bringing Mo and Katie," Fin warns me.<p>

It is the day after Elliot's return and the entire precinct is working feverishly to get anything we can on Lizzie's disappearance. I sigh and run my hands through my hair, dreading his visit, but anticipating it at the same time.

"Okay... Um... are Munch and Amaro still out canvassing?" I ask him as he rests a few sheets of paper on my desk.

"Yeah, so I'll take Mo, Rollins'll take Katie, and you could occupy Stabler, seeing as you already questioned him yesterday... if that's okay," says Fin, clarifying the future questioning for today.

"Yeah... that's... that's fine," I confirm, looking down at the papers he'd set down in front of me. "What are these?"

"We dumped the phones in El's apartment and all the payphones on the block and in the lobby."

"Anything suspicious?"

"No, not yet, we're waiting till we gather more evidence to check 'em over again, but Cragen wants _you_ to hold onto those. Says you'll take better care of them than anyone here."

"Yeah," I sigh as I shove the papers into a drawer in my desk. "What time are they coming in?" I ask Fin.

"Liv?" calls Cragen from the door of the bullpen. Fin steps aside so I can see him from my desk. I can see Elliot and two young women, who I know to be grown-up versions of Maureen and Kathleen Stabler.

"Now," Fin replies, his words dripping in irony, a toothy grin painted on his face. I get up and walk over to the family of three. I smile, brushing a stray strand of my brown locks out of my face and approach.

Maureen is the first to speak, throwing her voice into a high-pitched squeal. "Liv!" her arms wrap around my neck as she embraces me in a hug. It takes me a second but I hug back.

"Hey, Mo!" I reply enthusiastically, accenting it with a small giggle.

Elliot clears his throat and the eldest Stabler child ceases our hug. "Hey, Liv," Kathleen greets flatly, hugging me. I hug back.

"Hey, Kathleen."

Her eyes are rimmed with red and her voice is a tad scratchy. From the looks of it, I'd say she's been crying for her little sister to come home. This only increases my drive to locate Elizabeth Stabler and bring her home alive and well. Elliot and I share a pair of quick hellos and I move back to the girls.

"I guess a 'congratulations' is in order for the both of you. Your dad told me about the twins and the engagement."

A simultaneous thank you from both girls is my answer. I introduce the girls to Fin and Amanda and the two detectives show the girls to the interrogation rooms they'll be using. I, however, take Elliot's hand and lead him to the lounge.

"Did you need to ask anything else?" he asks me, once we're seated in the lounge.

"No, I'm just the one who's keeping you company while Mo and Katie are giving their statements."

"Keeping me company, eh?" he says, imitating a poised manner, stroking his chin and raising one eyebrow like a cheap imitation of a classy business man, thinking over what I'd just said. I laugh, causing Elliot to break character and laugh along with me. This is what I miss; the good times, the laughs, the _us_. Benson and Stabler; not Benson and Stabler reuniting. I pick at the nail polish on my nails, realizing I need a manicure. Maybe Sammy, Jess, and I will go this weekend. Elliot snaps me out of my manicure fantasies when he asks, "So, I realized I haven't asked what you've been up to in the past 13 years. Must've been a total drag without me around." He adds a chuckle, then silences so I can give him an answer.

"Well... I can cook now," I admit flatly, easing him into the big changes that he's missed.

"I'll be sure to come over for dinner sometime."

"That'll be great. Yeah, so, I'm... um... you know... married... now..." I stutter stupidly as I watch his mouth open in surprise

"To... to who?"

"David Haden... he was the temporary EADA right after you left. As soon as he proposed he announced he was leaving SVU so we didn't have to worry about IAB getting into the middle of everything."

"That's... that's great! I'm happy for ya', Liv," he congratulates, both of us rising so he could hug me. "How long have you been married?"

"11 years," I reply, a smile spreading across my face. I really do love David. "You know? Our anniversary is in two weeks."

"Really?" he replies, posing the question more like a sentence.

"Yeah... I, um, would've, um, invited you... but I—we—you—we had no contact... I just—"

"Liv, its fine... I get it," he interjected, giving me a reassuring smile.

"I can't believe it's almost been 12 years... I can remember my wedding day perfectly, like it was yesterday."

_Behind the grand chapel doors, I stood with Cragen on my arm, my nerves on a roller coaster. I was about to live the fairytale wedding I'd always dreamed of, but I began to doubt the fact I was ready for all this. I'd thought, as well been told for years that I was ready—that I'd make a lovely wife and mother. But now, with those two challenges before me, my stomach felt as though it were an 11 year old on a trampoline, and my mind was racing faster than a marathon runner. _

"_You look stunning, Olivia," Cragen complimented, just before he was to give me away at my wedding. I had a champagne-colored ball gown dress with a sweetheart neckline. It was strapless and silk elbow-length gloves, the same color as the dress, lined my arms. Tiny crystals lined the neckline and the waistline and were spread out all around the skirt. My shoes were champagne heels, about 3 inches from the ground._ _Around my__ neck was a diamond necklace, the matching earrings and bracelet accented my ensemble as well. These diamond accessories were given to me by the man I was minutes away from marrying._

"_Thank you, Cap," I replied, letting a tear slip down my cheek. I wiped it away, my breath briefly catching in my throat at the realization that my makeup might run, but soon after I remembered I'd put waterproof mascara on for this very reason._

"_Call me Don," he told me, causing me to chuckle through my happy tears, and then sniffle._

"_Alright," called my wedding planner, Marcy, from the other side of the room as the clicking of her 5-inch white heels moved closer to us. She smiled big, put a hand on my bare shoulder, and announced, "It's time! Let's get married!" She walked away as she said something into her headset, cueing the music and the doors to open. Don assisted me in flipping my veil over my face as we began to walk. Each and every guest stood as Don and I walked out onto the aisle. I looked at my family's side first, which wasn't much. It basically consisted of, a few of my cousins, and my aunt and uncle, taking up a grand total of 4 rows. Then I switched my gaze to David's side. Two back rows were left empty out of the 16 that where there. His family was all there; even his grandmother, who died from lung cancer a year later. I looked to my bridesmaids. The line of women consisted of Alex and Casey as my co-maid-of-honors, because I couldn't decide between the two; my sister in-law (Simon's wife), Tracy; Rollins; and two of my other friends, Clarissa and Blaire. I then looked to David's groomsmen consisting of my brother, Simon, as the best man; Amaro; Fin; Munch; David's brother, Charles; and two of his cousins, Greg and Albert. I saw the six children involved in the wedding party. We had 3 flower girls, and 3 ring bearers. The 3 flower girls were Sammy, who was 4 at the time, Jess, who was 6 at the time, and my niece, Olivia, who was 3 at the time. The 3 ring bearers were David's nephew, Jacob, who was 6 at the time, my nephew, Ty, who was 7 at the time, and Elliot Haden, who was 4 months old at the time. Jacob had the pillow with the two rings resting on the silk fabric making up the outside of the small pillow and Ty was cradling my infant son in his arms._

_Cragen and I arrived at the end of the aisle, and the priest asked, "Who gives this woman away to be married?"_

"_I do," Cragen answered. He took my hand and lifted it toward David, who took it and guided me up the two stairs to that I was facing him. He never let go of that one hand as he joined our free hands together. The priest began to speak, but I wasn't listening. I heard him, but my eyes stayed focused on the man in front of me. I stared deep into those captivating brown eyes as the feeling of his pure and whole love for me enveloped my soul once more, even though every time that warm feeling grew inside my heart, it felt like the first. I tuned in when David spoke, which meant he was presenting his vows, and I'd go next._

"_Olivia," he began, his voice was shaky and his eyes were already watering. "I couldn't love you more than I do at this very moment." He took a pause as he smiled at me and sent his gaze straight through my eyes. "You are everything I've ever wanted in a woman and more. There isn't anyone in the entire span of the universe and beyond that I'd rather be with than you. You are my heart. My soul. My other half. You are my perfect match. And I love you for that. You gave me a baby boy, whom I love just as much as my two daughters and I couldn't thank you more. For that, I will always love you. Another reason my love for you will withstand forever is because you are perfect. Not a flaw to be seen. You are a sexy, gracious, amazing woman with the biggest heart I've ever had the good fortune to be included in. You are also, __**certainly**__ the most stubborn, hardheaded, toughest, strongest woman I've ever met, and I love that about you... What can I say? I love everything about you, and I always will."_

_The priest gestured to me, signaling it was my turn. I took a shaky, deep breath in and began my vows. "David Robert Haden, I have waited all of my life for a rescue. A man I could love and hold onto forever. Someone to bring me everything I've ever wanted. Love. Comfort. Family. Security. Forever. And now I have it. I love that I found someone who can give that to me and stand by me 100%. Someone I don't have to share. Someone who can't walk away unless we sign a hell of a lot of papers and crap," I paused, waitng for the chuckles I'd earned from that comment to die down. I gushed more about how much I love David, and soon enough, we said our 'I do's' and sealed our fresh marriage with a kiss._

"Anything else?" Elliot asks, as I come out from my flashback.

"I'm a mom. A step-mom, an adoptive mom, and a biological mom."

"Wow, triple threat! Tell me about your kids?"

"Well, I have two step daughters, one of them is around Lizzie's age and the other is 15. Their names are Jess and Sammy. Then, you know my adoptive son... Remember Calvin, that 10 year old with the mother who signed his parental rights over to me, only to ship him off to Vermont like a month later?"

"Oh, you got Calvin back! Awesome!"

"Yup, for 6 and a half years, now..." I smile, trailing off for no apparent reason. "My one biological kid is 12... His, um, name is, um... E—Elliot, um... J—Ja—Jason."

Elliot says nothing and I fear he's mad... or weirded-out... or... or... I don't even know. Thankfully, just as El's about to speak, Maureen comes up and says, "Dad, we have to go, now. The boys have a doctor's appointment in an hour, and you're my ride home."

"Alright, Mo," he replies, getting up from his chair. He flashes me a look that says, 'We'll finish this conversation tomorrow'. "I'll see you tomorrow, Liv." He and Mo walk down to the bullpen, leaving me in the lounge alone. I smack my forehead with my palm and think, _'Oh crap...'_


End file.
